Re-Thinking the Dowry

Did you know it's true that giving a dowry for your bride is still a custom in many nations? Yesterday I was asked about the dowry Roger had to give for me. Now that's an interesting question! Wonder what my parents would have asked for…what was my worth? The ladies I've been hanging out with for the past few days were horrified to learn that no, we in America do not expect or require a dowry for our girls to be married. But after their argument, I'm very much re-thinking the value of their custom!

They explained vehemently to me that the parents had housed the girl. And not only that, they had fed her all these years and maybe even paid her school fees so she could attend and get a little education. Quite obviously, they had put a lot into this girl, training her in household chores and cooking, and most knew at least how to farm a small garden outside their home as well. To lose the girl would be giving up a lot. She is an investment and worth a lot. (The flip side of this which I was not brave enough to ask was that isn't this also a loss that would mean one less mouth to feed, but I didn't dare go there.)

When I asked what a dowry might include, the very quick answer was , "A goat, or chickens, a turkey maybe or if the husband-to-be is very wealthy, even a cow." I'm not sure that when my daughter married that a chicken or even a cow would have replaced the loss, but now that it's happened, I am rethinking the whole process. I've written my son-in-law and told him that I think she was at least worth a cow with a few chickens thrown in, too, and now that they've been married for sixteen years, I think there should be a goat thrown in for the now accumulated interest. I'm still waiting his reply.

In the meantime, if you have a daughter, I know she is worth something. Maybe even a lot of somethings. It would be very interesting to know what her intended would give to "purchase" her from you. If I see a cow in your front yard, I'll know it was a lot!